Men and Eating Disorders: It's Time to "Man Up!"

I'm sure that most guys would want to believe that women are the only ones with eating disorders (ED); however, those of you who have struggled with your weight over the years know, whether you publicly acknowledge it or not, that's not the case. And, hey, I'm no different.

Growing up in a household with a mother who was constantly going from one diet to the next really made an impression on my eating habits. I can remember that along with milk and OJ in the fridge, there would be cans of Tab and Diet Rite (which was the 1st diet soda in the states). Melba toast, cottage cheese, whey powder (from Amway), and tons of grapefruit were always on hand. Oh, and when the low-fat craze hit in the 80s, you better believe that my mom followed suit. I can remember all of the tasty soul food of my youth was ruined by this damn mania! How on earth can you eat fried cabbage seasoned with vegetable oil!

I never really thought that my mom's obsession with losing weight would eventually rear its ugly head in my life once I started to pack on the pounds; unfortunately, that's what happened. Sure, I remember my mom having a copy of the TWA Flight Attendants Diet on the refrigerator door for many years, but I would simply shake my head when I saw it because I thought, and still do, that cottage cheese wasn't meant for human consumption. :)

Nevertheless, I soon realized I didn't have a positive relationship with food when I was faced with losing the freshman 25 that I put on my first year of college. Losing weight, no matter how much you need to lose, is a daunting task at first because you realize that you are going to have to put in an effort that you're obviously not doing or you wouldn't be overweight, right?

So, when I was faced with having to lose weight for the first time in my life, what did I do? I tried to starve myself of course! I made up my mind that I would eat once a day and drink plenty of water. Oh, and I would start lifting weights with my roommates and playing tennis for cardio. As you can imagine, I lost the weight and more people started to notice me on campus, but this victory over the bulge was short lived. Sure, eating once a day was easy during the summer because I was a poor college student working on campus, and I wasn't on the meal plan. So, my "diet" was really easy to follow. As soon as the regular semester started, and my meal plan was reinstated, I regained all the lost weight.

After going up and down with my weight throughout my college years, I started to notice that I had developed a habit of dieting until I couldn't take it, and then I would binge. I have never purged, but my binges grew more severe as the years and pounds came on. One thing I always found interesting about my binges, especially as I got older, is that a pattern had developed.

First, I would be stressed about something going on in my life that I believed I had no control over. Then, I'd usually order delivery with enough food for 2-3 people. Almost immediately after paying the driver and closing the door, I would get this intense feeling of shame and disgust with myself. The more I saw all the food I had ordered, the more I hated myself. Finally, I would think to myself that the best way to rid myself of all these negative feelings is to eat it as quickly as I could. And, that's what I did until I could no longer shovel any more food in my mouth, or I was staring at an empty container. What's crazy about my pattern is that once I finished all, or the majority, of the food, I would feel a sense of relief?!? I would feel this way because I could now throw out the evidence of my binge and act as if it never happened ....

As a result of my night-time binging, all of my weight loss efforts were futile. It was a vicious cycle that I was in, and it was one that I had to break! And, fortunately, that's exactly what I did in 2002, which was the last year that I went on a binge. Now, does this mean that I simply walked away from it with no lasting side effects? Of course not! Just because I didn't actually binge, does not account for the numerous times I "mentally" binged when I was stressed. OK, some guys may think that this type of binging isn't that dangerous because you're not actually going through with the physical act, but I disagree.

When I would give into my midnight gorging sessions, I was obviously acting on urges and not allowing myself to think them through before acting on them. Similar to a child going with a stranger who has a pretty balloon or piece of candy, I binged with no more thought than "I'm stressed and I'm hungry .... no, I'm really hungry". All of the regret and shame came after the food actually arrived and soon went away once I hid the evidence. So, stopping this behavior was more about me becoming more conscious about my destructive behavior and changing it. It really is that simple, but that's why I say that the "mental binges" are worse.

They are worse because they mean that you have not quieted that voice of doubt in the back of your head. Fellas, you know the voice I'm talking about. No? Sure you do. It's that little voice that tells you that "You'll never lose weight!"; it's the voice that says "I don't care how hard you try that program won't work for you FAT BOY!" or "Everyone in your family is fat, so what makes you special?". Depending on how much weight you need to lose or how long you've been overweight, this voice can be as quiet as an occasional whisper (which I still hear) to a patronizing proclamation of your weight loss failure!

Having "mental binges" means that you are not fully confident that you can really lose weight and keep it off this time. In addition to nutrition and physical training, you must address this voice guys; don't ignore it or act as if it's not there. Oh, it's there and it's not going anywhere as long as you ignore or try to run away from it. One thing I can honestly say is that you have to face the voice! Today, may not be the day, but there will come a day that you are going to have to simply "Man Up!" and face that voice and listen to all the negative, sarcastic, and patronizing things it has to say. Soak it ALL up and don't turn away when it gets a bit more than you think you can handle. Stay there, don't shy away because you've done that before.

After taking all that abuse, don't make excuses or even feel remorse for what was said. Remember it and USE IT for motivation because I have a little secret for you guys. The more goals you set and achieve, the less you can hear that voice in the back of your head. Listen, if you need to lose 100 lbs., I can guarantee that the voice you hear now, won't be as noticeable when you lose 75 of that 100 lbs.

Unlike boxing and MMA where they tell you to kill the body and the head will die, in weight loss and management you must control the head (your brain that is) and the body will follow. Mentally come to grip with your ED and start mapping out strategies to deal with it, and ultimately "Man Up"!

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Update: Please take a few seconds to answer the poll I've posted about this entry--thanks!

So, Where Do I Start?

This seems to be a common theme in most of the emails that I've received so far. Oh, please keep them coming guys because I learn so much from them. If I haven't responded to you, don't worry one will be in your inbox before you know it!

OK guys, so you've read my story, you've become motivated, and now you're ready to lose the weight. But, just like me, most of you don't have a clue where to start. You could follow your old high school football routine that had you in the best shape of your life 20 years ago, or you could purchase the latest gadget on TV that guarantees results or your money back. Listen, I want to be clear about one point. You don't have to buy one single piece of equipment or one diet book to get the body of your dreams--not one!

This may seem contradictory since I promote certain products on my blog; nevertheless, all these are merely to compliment your training/understanding of nutrition, but you don't need them to lose the weight. Don't let anyone tell you differently because if guys in solitary confinement can get shredded on "nutritious" prison food and leaving the cell for 30 minutes to an hour per day, what do you think you can do?

I'm going to give you guys a formula for success that won't cost you one red cent! I'm even going to give them to you in bullet points for easier reading. OK, I know that in some of my earlier posts, I've discussed very complicated ways for you to figure out how many calories you need and macro-nutrient breakdown, etc. Also, I've posted some workout routines that seemed a bit complicated.

Well, I'm going back to my old fashion KISS (Keep It Sweet & Simple) philosophy for both my training and nutrition. Yes, I'm aspiring to have the body of an athlete, but I'm not one. So, I have to keep in mind that whatever program I create for myself must include the realities of my everyday life. Does this mean that you should continue to use your busy schedule as an excuse for you not exercising? Of course not, your busy schedule should cause you to want to exercise to help rid yourself of everyday stress. Hey, if you haven't hit a heavy bag imagining that it's your boss or an annoying co-worker, then you really don't know the true meaning of stress relief. ;)

Let's start with nutrition and the least you should know:

• Calories do indeed count and always will. Don't get caught up in debates with people about this because it's counterproductive to your ultimate goal. If another person truly believes that they can lose weight and reach the size they want without having an idea of how many calories s/he is consuming, congratulate them on their success and move on because here on earth, the Laws of Thermodynamics have yet to be disproven.
  
  
• "Eat Less, Move More" - Oh, how we hate hearing that from doctors, family, and friends who have never had a weight problem their entire life--lucky bastards! Well, don't be so quick to dismiss what they are saying because there is some truth in this weight loss cliche. In a most basic way, this expression is simply encouraging us to consume less energy (create a caloric deficit) while using more energy for the extra movement (which, since there is a calorie deficit, will cause your body to use its stored energy--fat and muscles--to make up for the difference, which causes you to lose weight on the scale). Simple, right? Yes, but they left something out. How much less do you eat and how much more should you move?
  
  
• Determining your daily calorie requirements is usually so confusing that sometimes you feel you need a background in biochemistry to fully understand the damn formulas. Well, I've picked up a simple and extremely uncomplicated way to determine how many calories you need to consume to stay at your present weight and how much you should eat to lose weight thanks to tips from the bodybuilder and strength & conditioning communities. First, keep in mind that this is not an exact science and that these are estimates, but they are reliable enough that athletes use them as a guide for their training. So, to get an idea of how many calories per day you need to eat to stay at your current weight, multiply your bodyweight times 15. To lose weight, you want to multiply your current weight times 8 -12. For most folks starting off, go with 10 or 12. Reserve the lower number when you're going for your six pack!
  
  Let's look at the example of a guy who weighs 300lbs. Well, to lose weight, he needs to consume no more than 3000 cals (BW x 10 = 3000) a day. He'll stay with this number until he loses 20lbs, and then he'll go back and reformulate his calorie needs, which will now be 2800 cals a day. Next, he'll be eating 2600 cals after losing 20 more pounds. You see how simple this is?
  
  
• So, what about macronutrients (carbs, fats, protein)? Should you do low-carbs, low-fat, or a balanced diet? What I find interesting is that this topic makes so much money in the "diet" book industry simply because of confusion and marketing hype. It's really simple. If you want to lose weight, simply follow the previous bullet's suggestion. However, if you want the majority of the weight loss to be actual body fat, then I suggest that you consume no more than 100 grams of carbs a day. This has been shown to be the upper limit of carb intake for one to consume and still benefit from the hormonal response (read: lower insulin levels, more fat burning, etc).
  
  If you are still freaked out about doing a low-carb diet, consider that the USDA recommends that we eat at least 125 grams of carbs because of the glucose our brains require on a daily basis. That's a difference of 25 grams, and I'll tell you what, without going into detail about ketones and the brain, I'll compromise with you. After you do a resistance workout, take in those 25 grams of carbs with your protein shake, and we'll call it even! There's no reason to go lower than 100 grams, despite what you may hear from low-carb sites and forums.
  
  
• Finally, figure out what triggers your poor eating habits. Listen, we know that eating a scoop or two of ice cream in a cup is better than that gi-normous four scoop sundae that drips down our chin and add to our waist. What's just as important along your weight loss journey is to figure out who you are and what makes you tick. We all eat, or should I say overeat, for different reasons. I was an emotional eater. Whenever stress knocked on my door, I was off to Krispy Kreme for a baker's dozen! No one forced me or even suggested that I react this way to stress, and, unfortunately, my body acted accordingly to what and how much I was feeding it.
  

I wanted to get nutrition out of the way first because the training aspect of your weight loss journey is even more simple in my opinion:

• If you lose weight mainly through calorie restriction, you, more than likely, will have droopy and saggy skin. We all have seen guys who lose a lot of weight and are pretty saggy. I call it the Jared Complex. No disrespect to the Subway guy because he is encouraging kids to exercise and be more conscious of their calories, but I never wanted to look skinny fat. When I lost weight using pills and doing tons of cardio, I looked like Jared, complete with the saggy skin and man boobs to boot! Fellas, if you don't want folks coming up to you and poking your saggy stomach like your the Pillsbury Doughboy, I'd suggest that you realize that resistance training is not an option--it's mandatory!
  
  
• Compound bodyweight exercises are more than enough for your strength and cardio conditioning. That's right, the body you see in the mirror every morning presents more than enough weight resistance for you to build a respectable body! Again, you don't need to buy any equipment. For ideas, feel free to go to www.bodyweightculture.com for free videos, discussions, and information on bodyweight exercises. I think it's one of the best bodyweight only forums/sites on the web! As I stated in my last post, YouTube is chock full of videos of people doing various bodyweight exercises. Oh, and there are two more BW-only sites that I've come across that I want you to check out:
  
  
• Beast Skills - Jim, who lives in my hometown of DC, has a great site and instructional videos.
  
• Body by Fish - Scrapper is another bodyweight culturists who has an outstanding site.
  

• Finally, I have a little treat for those guys out there who just need a program to follow. OK, if you fall in this camp, I have a pdf file that you can download or view by clicking here. This is basically a teaser from Craig Ballantyne's Turbulence Training Fat Loss Program. The good thing about this pdf is that you'll get a lot of mileage out of it because it has beginner, intermediate, and advanced routines. So, you have a good three months, or more depending on your current level of fitness, of workouts (including cardio) that you can use to decide if you want to purchase his ebook.
  
  Even if you don't buy Craig's book, make sure to take advantage of this free pdf, and make sure that you start to do research on the term EPOC (Excess Post-Exercise Oxygen Consumption) to understand the number of new fat loss exercise programs getting ready to inundate the market around this concept!

Remember guys, the tortoise was right, slow and steady wins the race. It's OK to aim to have the body of a sprinter, but make sure to develop the mentality of a marathon runner along the way.

Pete: The Real Biggest Loser Counts Calories!

Guys, file this post under Mr. Low Body Fat's rant section, but I just finished watching The Biggest Loser's "Did They Keep It Off?" Special I recorded yesterday and had to point something out. I've been a fan of the show since the first season because I love how it shows how the body can be transformed through exercise and diet; however, I don't endorse any of their weight loss products or the idea that weight should be lost so quickly. Also, their focus on overall body weight loss instead of body fat loss needs to be changed.

Nevertheless, I had to say something about what Pete and his wife said. Those of you who caught the show may have overlooked it, but his wife talked about the energy balance equation, which is calories in vs calories out, that most folks nowadays are in denial about. Notice, he was the only contestant to remove his shirt to show a nice set of abs for someone who has lost well over 100lbs! And how did he do it? He counts his calories and exercises his butt off!!!!

There is no free lunch fellas. If you want to lose the weight and keep it off, realize that you will have to count your calories and exercise. Stop listening to people that tell you differently, and if they do, ask them to pull up their shirt and show you their abs, like Pete did. After watching him, I can't wait to wake up tomorrow at 5am to get my workout in before going to work!